2015 was a year of many things on the pop charts. It was a year of mediocre mega hits. It was a year of “adult” songs by former child stars who aren’t Hannah Monta — I mean Miley Cyrus. Among all these songs, it was difficult weeding out the major offenders from the many minor annoyances. To make this list, a song must have been released in 2015. Since I chose from all singles instead of just hits for my Best Singles list, I figured I might as well keep it fair and do the same here. But the list will be almost entirely made up of more popular songs because pop culture caters to the lowest common denominator.

#10: Marvin Gaye – Charlie Puth feat. Meghan Trainor

I didn’t mind Charlie Puth for awhile. I’d listened to him a little bit before he broke out with Wiz Kalifa’s “See You Again,” so it was nice to see him being recognized for his talent. Then he proceeded to become extremely boring. I feel like this song is supposed to embody the excitement of young love, but it instead embodies Ambien. Puth and Trainor have no chemistry so I have no interest in their desire to “Marvin Gaye.” That’s probably the worst part. “Let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on.” You don’t need to say both. Pick one or the other and people will understand your point. This definitely has the worst song title of the year.

#9: Love Yourself – Justin Bieber

Bieber had a lot of questions this year. Where are you now? What do you mean? Is it too late to say sorry? Who are you? Would you like fries with that? Why isn’t anyone answering my questions? But there was one thing he was sure of. “If you like the way you look so much, you should go and love yourself.” Because being confident is bad. He also says, “my mama don’t like you and she likes everyone.” Good one, Biebs. When he’s been trying to show us that he’s an adult, he decides to justify disliking someone by saying his mommy doesn’t like them (and doing so with poor grammar). I assumed this song was about some girl but when my current favorite music critic did a review of “What Do You Mean?” he pointed out a different perspective for Bieber’s 2015 songs. He might actually be talking to the public, asking what they mean because one minute he’s heavily praised by fans and the next he’s murdered by critics. Where are his supporters now? Is it too late to say sorry for peeing in that mop bucket and generally being stupid?  He could be telling the world to “love yourself” because he’s totally over all the #haters because they’re just drinking #haterade. I have no idea whether or not this is true, but you can interpret it however you’d like. Also, I hated teeny bopper Bieber with a passion, as most people did. But minimalist Bieber is just boring. I almost kept him off the list because he didn’t evoke any sort of emotion from me until this song was released. I guess that moving from unbridled disgust to indifference is progress, but I’d rather we get rid of him altogether.

#8: Heartbeat Song – Kelly Clarkson

I’m tired of Clarkson’s’ “I’m independent/you didn’t break my heart” act. I respect anyone who survives hardship. But this is the same songs as “Since You’ve Been Gone,” “Stronger,” “Mr. Know-It-All,” and probably most of her other songs. Still, this song does something to separate itself from the pack. It’s the worst of them all. It’s not as catchy as her songs from the 2000’s and not as empowering as it was meant to be, mainly because of its thesis: “This is my heartbeat song and I’m gonna play it.” What in Jesus Christ Superstar’s name is a heartbeat song? Is it a song that gives you life? Is the tempo similar to an average heartbeat? Just like any song that’s talking about another song, such as One Direction’s “Best Song Ever” (which was one of the worst songs of 2013) people may wonder what song the performer is talking about. According to the power chords at the beginning, One Direction believes that the best song ever is The Who’s “Baba O’Riley.” Similarly, Clarkson’s melody tells us that “The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World is her heartbeat song. I think this subconsciously caused me to hate Clarkson’s song. Jimmy Eat World’s 2000 hit is one of my favorite songs, so I didn’t like that an artist without my respect would rip off one of the best songs I’ve ever heard.

#7: She’s Kinda Hot – 5 Seconds of Summer

Since I was unable to make a “worst songs” list last year, I was unable to talk about how much I hate “She Looks So Perfect.” It has one of the worst choruses I’ve heard in a long time. But luckily for me, they released another terrible single. It starts off with the singer talking about how his girl isn’t supportive and is rude to him, but it’s okay because “she’s kinda hot though.” The word “though” is said so many times that I never want to hear it again. Some lyrics also directly reference The Offspring and Bad Brains, both bands that are centuries ahead of “5SOS” in terms of being cool. You don’t deserve to reference far more talented and interesting people. They even say, “they say we’re losers and we’re alright with that.” I’m happy you are aware that you’re losers. You really are. Now listen to me when I tell you to GO AWAY.

#6: Cool for the Summer – Demi Lovato

The production of this song actually makes me cringe. I don’t know what’s happening in the chorus, but I feel like everyone involved in creating it had a simultaneous seizure. I can’t even tell what instruments are being used because there’s so much going on. There might be a guitar. There’s plenty of electronic processing. There’s a drum machine. There’s the sound of Guantanamo Bay prisoners begging for mercy because this song is the worst torture they’ve endured. And we haven’t even talked about Lovato, who has the same problem as the music. My problem with her singing style is that she goes too hard. She just goes way too hard. She’s trying really hard and no, it doesn’t sound good. It’s not that her voice itself is bad, because I won’t deny jamming out to the “Camp Rock” soundtrack when I was a kid, but it’s the way she presents her voice.

#5: Sugar – Maroon 5

I remember when I used to like Maroon 5. They used to be a rock pop band that refreshed the charts in the midst of dance music and soulless pop. Then “Moves Like Jagger” was released and they have continually earned more and more hate from me. Adam Levine’s falsetto is getting to be too much. And by that I mean I want to strangle this guy. His vocals make me physically uncomfortable. This “band” has not ceased to disappoint me with each new single. I guess you could call that an accomplishment?

#4: Trap Queen – Fetty Wap

“Heywhat’suphello.” That alone earns this song a spot on the list. But no, Mr. Wap isn’t done yet. His voice is worse than Future’s in “Turn on the Lights,” which has been my standard for the worst possible use of autotune since I first heard it. When I first heard “Trap Queen,” I was only half way through the track when I decided this guy already needs to go away. In the end, we’re told that he “sounds like a zillion bucks on the track.” I respectfully and strongly disagree. Not only does he sound terrible, the beat sounds like something he found on the internet. For people who think I’m too harsh on the songs I review, I will say that something decent came out of this song: Ed Sheeran’s cover.

#3: …I’m Madonna – Madonna

“You’re gonna love this.” I respectfully and strongly disagree. Madonna inhaled some autotuned helium before making this song that’s attempting to sound like K-pop until going into an unnecessary dubstep breakdown and spouting lyrics that are inappropriate for her age. “We go hard or we go home.” I think you mean “nursing home,” sweetie. She also asks, “who do you think you are?” Because she’s old and senile so she keeps forgetting who people are. Then Nicki Minaj shows up because she’s the Nicolas Cage of music. I don’t know what she’s saying in her verse and I don’t care because I’m too focused on hating Madonna’s terrible vocals. Near the end, somebody decided to zip and unzip their jacket into the microphone because Madonna herself isn’t annoying enough. Considering I didn’t like 80’s Madonna, I can’t tolerate her today. She should’ve stopped making music before getting her AARP card.

#2: Bad Blood – Taylor Swift feat. Kendrick Lamar

My relationship with Taylor Swift has changed a lot throughout the years. I liked her first album during that short period of time when I listened to “country” music (which is a story for another day). But over the years, we grew apart as she became your basic pop star. I tried to like her music, but my feelings toward her were lukewarm. Then, just a few years ago, I decided that we were never getting back together, like ever, because of how horrible her music was. This continued as she shook it off. Then she released “Blank Space.” I’d always heard people talk about what a great songwriter she is. I never saw evidence of that. This song was the first of hers that made me believe she was a good writer, with the best lyric being, “Darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.” The beat, however, was boring. And then came “Style,” a huge guilty pleasure of mine. These two songs gave me hope. I was ready to accept her into my heart when I heard that she’d released another single. Then my heart was closed. Swift is not singing on this track. She’s yelling and whining. The beat is even worse than that of “Blank Space” without the redeeming lyrics. Kendrick Lamar is the most listenable part of the track, despite not bringing his A-game because he’s the rapper on a Taylor Swift song. Have you ever broken up with someone and then started hanging out again after you’ve gotten over each other? You start to feel those old feelings and think maybe you can try again. And then they stab you with a fork. That’s what happened here. I knew she was trouble.

Dishonorable Mentions:

Hey Mama – David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj/Good for You – Selena Gomez: I grouped these songs together because they have the same problem, so I might as well kill two train wrecks with one stone. Nicki Minaj and David Guetta teamed up again, because “Turn Me On” was just the tip of the iceberg for their intersecting careers. This track has decent music, I guess. I’ve never thought much of Guetta. I don’t like him but there’s nothing interestingly bad enough to hate. The chorus is alright. Minaj doesn’t really stand out. Her verses could have been performed by anybody else and it wouldn’t matter. Meanwhile, Selena Gomez brings us a sludgy track with horrible lyrics (“I’m a marquis diamond”). She sounds like she’s about to cry throughout the whole song. The track has a poorly done minimalist beat, which just sounds lazy. My biggest issue with both of those songs is the message: “Everything I do is for my man.” Gomez, who sounds like she just woke up, sings, “I just wanna look good for you/…/let me show you how proud I am to be yours.” And Minaj says, “Yes I do the cooking/yes I do the cleaning.” While it’s disappointing to hear these sorts of lyrics from anyone, especially in 2015, it makes Minaj look especially bad. She’s the most popular female rapper right now. I’m not saying she can’t show her ankles and should be telling kids to recycle, but she is talented enough (when she’s on) to be successful without needing to sexualize herself.

American Beauty/American Psycho – Fall Out Boy: If you’d told me any time before this year that I would one day call a Fall Out Boy song one of the worst of the year, I would’ve asked you if you had met me before. But their 2015 album was a hot mess. And this is its messiest single. It doesn’t sound like they’re using real instruments, which they should probably do considering that’s how bands work. Patrick Stump has one of the most beautiful voices I’ve heard, and he’s reduced to yelling throughout the entire track. This is poor use of your Fall Out Boy.

Perfect – One Direction: The production is worse than most of the other One Direction songs I’ve heard. Clearly, no one involved with this song cared about it. The lyrics are terrible, not as bad as “What Makes You Beautiful,” but definitely worse than “Best Song Ever.” Hey, female fan. Do you like to do anything slightly fun or interesting? Well I think you’re perfect. Whoever you are.

Watch Me – Silento: If I “already know what it is,” why did you make this song? This shouldn’t exist. This is worse than any Soulja Boy song, and Silento even references Soulja Boy like that’s a good thing. The phrase “watch me” is said 77 times. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was made by Ark Music Factory.

#1: Unbelievable – Owl City

I know I just reviewed Owl City’s album. I know this is probably my most obvious target considering I talked about how much I hated it only a month ago. I know everyone hates Taylor Swift and Fetty Wap more than the forever 12 Adam Young. But this isn’t about you. Or Owl City, for that matter. This is about me. And I hate bad music. For a song to top this list, it has to actually make me angry. It has to evoke a dramatic reaction from me that is much more than a pop song deserves. And this song does. You can read my review for full details, but I’ll just say that everything that can be wrong with a song is wrong with this.

The worst part of this year was how tired and slow the songs were. It was hard to find songs interesting enough to hate. Can we speed things up in 2016?